Mike and Air Life

I have a friend named Mike. He's from a Province in China that I cannot pronounce. He recently became a U.S. Citizen. He told me," I so excited. Now I can vote for the Presidentio Erection."... I thought that was funny. I told him Bill was't running. He didn't understand.
I recently saw the World Air Guitar Championships on TV. I had no idea. I had to watch. I thought Air Guitar was only what drunken high school morons did in a lame attempt to look cool. Apparently these guys grow up to become drunken adult morons.
Air Guitar? Get real. It's like playing a real guitar, only without the guitar, and way easier. I wonder how Eddie Van Halen would do in a head to head match against Air Guitar Champion Ochi"Dainoji"Yosuke. Would Eddie be out of his league? Would he be able to pretend to play Eruption as well as the Champ? Who decides who won, Air Judges? What would the winner get, an Air Trophy?
While we're at it, Maybe we should start a whole new league dedicated to Air Sports. I think we should start with Air Soccer. Instead of being bored to death watching two teams kick the ball back and forth across the midfield line,... for six hours,... without ever getting within shouting distance of either goal. We could watch two teams PRETEND to kick the ball back and forth across the midfield line,... for six hours,... without ever getting within shouting distance of either goal. What fun! The players could get "Air" Injuries. They would pretend to be hurt and roll around on the ground like they had been shot just like they do now, but without a real ball. I think this could be really big, especially in France.
I checked. and yes, you can buy an Air Guitar on ebay.

The politicians are way ahead of the game, especially the Democrats. They have two Air Candidates running for their nomination. Neither one of them has any actual substance.Hillary is pretending to run as a straight woman, although she is neither. While Obama is the Candidate for change. I actually think we might be able to afford that. Even I have lots of change.
I'll go check my piggy bank!